Can you not let go of any highly important, overly exaggerated “Motherhood tasks” till you beat yourself up, burn out, fill yourself with anxiety, or suffer an accident like me?
I am passionately writing to you “Amazing Mum” out there begging You!
Yes to You, to really stop and breath, and implement more Self-care routines into your everyday life, putting yourself first, (in the most important part of your daily “Must To Do-s “ list) so you never ever, by no chance end up like me forced to be stopped, keeping my injured foot elevated, hoping to heel before our exciting upcoming Overseas trip!
Where are we planning to travel to? Well of course this is a super important trip for us, finally visiting our family in Hungary. Who we haven’t had a chance to see personally for more than two years! Can’t wait to hug everyone but here I am now still bed ridden with my “Supermom injury”…and can’t wait to get back on my feet again!
So you may ask “How did I injure myself before our trip?”, well this is an interesting story and I wonder where should I start to be able to offer the most value for You, “super-busy” Mum, who probably just got interested by the title and wondering if reading this blog can help your life to feel any less busy, any less hectic or even better, ignite your deeper self-love and boost your self-care routines!
But, why do I care about your Self -love and your Self-care?
Because I really do care about You, and I might not know you very well yet, but I know You are a great Mum, without continuously being on your feet and the last one to sit down on the sofa in your beautiful living room (that you have worked so hard to become such a nice, cozy family space) yet you have barely time to relax and enjoy your lovely environment!
I know that you may think there is no other way, but I can assure you, there is!
I know you may say “ but, I really do not have any time for me!” but I know that you can squeeze out some time of your currently super busy “Supremum’s tasks list” and you could (have your next shower in a candle light atmosphere, listening to a gentle relaxing music or your favourite song, and make that 5 min Bathroom time really count…)
We just need to identify how much we are willing to scarify every day to be the best Mums that we can be, and when we start to recognize that our own “Perfectionism” can be the real problem that holds us back to truly live and breathe our best life every day!
Imagine this, your child is 14 years old and going on their first camping trip with their school, so you want to make sure that they have everything they need for their trip!
So, you wake up at 6:30am and you remember that there was a “Beanie” amongst the suggested camp gear list that hasn’t been packed yet, and you know why?
Because all the winter gear has been put away into a suitcase in your garage downstairs! So, no one else from your family was super keen to dig the winter gear out as it has been placed far at the back during the summer time, hidden behind a set of other things that landed in the garage throughout the year, due to your super busy organizing projects, trying to ensure your whole home is super organised, less cluttered, keeping up with the latest more “Minimalistic” trends.
While you still making sure that your home remains a very warm and cosy family home for everyone!
However, here you are now, facing the morning of the Camp and that “Beanie” is still not packed.
So you go down to your Garage and you face all the obstacles in front of you, which all separating you to get to your Mum victory and get that “Beanie” from the winter gear for your Child!
As you are balancing through the space, you notice the winter gear suitcase!
Which immediately feels your motherly instinct with the greatest “commitment” to dig it out!
No matter the obstacles, you want to ensure that you will cross the finish line as a “Mum’s of the year Winner” of the “Beanie hunt” !
And you totally ignore the chat that you had with your own child the night before, when he highlighted “Mum! This is just a suggested gear list” which means we do not have to have everything on the list…it is Okay, if I don’t have it all!
But your Supermom’s brain interprets it from a different angle, and you think
“My child can’t be amongst the ones, who won’t have a “Beanie” if they might need one..”
So when you notice the “winter gear” is at a higher area, on top of some boxes.
You do not think twice …you just follow your Supermom's goal and you are fully committed to get that “Beanie”!
You also notice some other things on top of this suitcase and a wooden shelfing that is blocking your easy access to reach the “Winter gear”.
But of course, as a supermom, we also suffer from the “Supermom syndrome”, which makes you think you do have superpowers, as you always accomplish so much in so little time, so for you, you think it is going to be “Easy peasy”!
“If I kneel on the strong (at least I thought to be strong) shelfing than I can reach the Winter gear suitcase and get that Beanie!”
And, you do not hesitate as a supermom, you just have to do this, so you can continue with all your other super important super mum’s tasks..
So of course, you do exactly that…you climb on top of the wooden shelf (you don’t think clear..you just think “ You are invincible (Which is a empowering thought but unfortunately ( as it turned out) it wasn’t so useful under these circumstances…
Then you stretch your arms to reach the “Winter gear” and there you are a true winner of a selfless Mum, keeping your eyes on the Goal and now you are unzipping the suitcase and trying your luck, maybe the ”Beanie” is right there in that exact corner!
But it isn’t of course, this was a super “optimistic” thought (which is common by Supermum syndrome sufferers, which is again can be highly useful thing at any other time but not at this time when every second mattered…)
Which meant that you have now recognized that you had to dig out the whole suitcase if you wanted to get that “Beanie”
..and than you felt it and you heard it a “Oh no! A cracking noise”coming from the shelfing underneath you!”
“What should you do now?” you wondered…
I know you may say..Why did you think? Why didn’t you just hope off?
Even when you have been warned from within you by a little voice that said to you
“Would be best to come down off the shelf right now!” As it may actually collapse!”
But as a Supermum’s syndrome sufferer you had a another little voice in your head…which was telling you to “Keep going! You are nearly there! You get it in a second..even if you fall, you won’t get too hurt, as you are only around 1m above the ground…You will be fine…!
But as I got the” winter gear suitcase” the shelfing also collapsed. And my Mum’s victory has been shattered by the first large cut that I have noticed on one of my feet, and than I saw another smaller cut on my other leg as a result of this accident….
As a trained first aider I knew that I had to act quickly by the amount of blood that I was now losing…and I could not believe that I was in this situation from one moment to another….
I could lose my family, my life..just because I couldn’t leave a “Beanie” out of the Camp gear?
In that moment I felt that I have learnt the biggest “Motherhood lesson” ever and I realized that I need to stop being such a “perfectionism” orientated “Supermom” and I need to ensure to remind myself everyday while I also committed to help You, yes You, my Beautiful Supermom Friend out there!
We are all Amazing Mums, even when we do not always have all the Camp gear from the list (haha), or the best lunch, or the greatest present for our Children….what matters, is that true Love that we feel for our Children in our care, and how we try our very best to show them our real loving Self, by becoming our real Loving Self!
Praising yourself and your body on every level with all your inner and outer beauty, with all your wobbles, flaws, or wrinkles, noticing your own Amazingness in the reflection of your mirror, acknowledging everything that you have put your body through every day, while being grateful for your own perfectly unique and beautiful Body!
Could my usual morning routine filled with my Gratitude, Self-love and Self-care habits have saved me, instead of just hopping out of bed and rushing down to our garage to quickly grab that “Beanie”?
Probably…as it would have activated my highest energy level with my most mindful state of being….where I would of been most likely to listen to the first little voice in my head and hop off the wooden shelfing!
Can I change what has already happened?
No, I cannot. I can’t rewind time..
But if any of you, lovely Mums out there, know where a real time machine is currently operating, I would love a ride back in time…!
Till then, I will instead embrace my injury and I learn from it as much as I can!
While I am taking the greatest advice that I have recently been reminded by a lovely 4 year old young Lady, who I have a privilege to look after since she was a Baby!
Focusing on all what I can do…just like she did, when she has broken her led. She has remained happy and told me a series of things that she was still able to do:
“I can only not walk…but I can bum shuffle, I can draw, I can play on the floor, I can go for walk with a pram (yippee…just like when I was a Baby” )….her list was large…
So Beautiful Mums, out there…let’s be inspired by her and let’s be honest with ourselves and cherish “our time” on this Earth..and start observing where our time goes…and focus on things that we can still do…!
You may only have 5 extra minutes to apply your facial moisturizer in a more caring, loving manner. Gently touching your face, while you are acknowledging and praising your perfectly imperfect unique Beauty of Perfection!
“Sometimes the solution lies in all the little things ….not necessary in what we don’t do, instead of how we do, what we already do….”
The best way to cure your Supermom syndrome is to be committed to implement more Self-love and Self-care habits and bring more Gratitude into your everyday routines.
When you start putting your own needs on your “Must to do List” you will be able to feel less anxious, less burnt out and save yourself from a potential accident!
We here at Love2care4kids are passionate to support your Parenting/Caregiving journey and bring more Love and Happiness into your life!